She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
