I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
