ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
