I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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