I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
