Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
North Korea, Best Korea!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
