Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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