It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
