I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize