forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
