note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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