And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
