I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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