I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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