I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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