Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
