My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
