Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
