We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
