I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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