Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
