Just fell off a train. Bad.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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