Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
