I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
