Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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