3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize