No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
