I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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