Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
