There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
