The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
