She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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