You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
