I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize