Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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