yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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