And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
