You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I need help removing her.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
