She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
