I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pants are for mortals
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