Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
