New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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