Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
