Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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