fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
