fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
