Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
