you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
