The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
