They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
