We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
