I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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