I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
