Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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