the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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