People with herpes should wear stickers.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize