i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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