yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Enjoy the penises
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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