my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize