i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
