I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
