dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
