uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
