last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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